Making a Pearl

All of the things that are still possible

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In her newsletter ‘The Kindred Letters’ this week, the lovely Susan Cain asks a question about creative inspiration, “What is the particular pearl, gem, or jewel that you and only you, can produce?” and I have been thinking about it all week, especially after Susan nonchalantly directly called me ‘pearl-maker’ and I felt this wonderful warm feeling that this, of all the possible labels and titles I have been given in my life, is a purpose and name I could get excited about.

My sketching life of late has also gravitated towards the layers formed in nature- rock and sediment, tree rings and other natural wonders that speak to stretches of time more expansive than my meagre human life-span, things that were here before me and things that will still be here after me.

And so what does it mean to have a pearl inside of you? Something only you can offer the world? I’m not sure yet what mine is, but I found myself thinking about the pearl formation process and writing a wee letter to you, the other pearl makers out there.

I’m not sure if the internet needs another pep talk and I’m even less sure if I’m the person to deliver ‘pep’ in general, but maybe a tiny, shiny little bit of encouragement will be yours today.

Dear Pearl-Maker,

It must be gently accepted that your story may have begun with a wound. Something unwanted made its way into your inner sanctuary. Maybe the words and actions of those who should have sheltered you left that grit in your otherwise silky smooth interior. Perhaps it was just the tossing and turning of the waves and a moment of naivety that meant that, just as you opened up, something unwelcome got in.

And that gravel stayed in there, didn't it? For reasons you can’t understand, you closed your shell tightly around it rather than spit it out. Perhaps you let this sharp stone become a part of you, began to forget that it is a foreign body. You held it there and to begin with it was just this tiny thing, manageable but for the sharp edges hurting your insides with every little nudge of the tide.

So you wrapped it in a papery layer of film to protect yourself. And then another, and then another, as if preparing this rock for a pass-the-parcel that would eventually allow you to eject it away from yourself, but never actually doing so. The layers hardened and clung to you and the invader began to feel like a part of you, entangled in your being. Years passed. You felt the weight of that stone in your chest but never spoke of it.

But here is what you didn’t notice. 

With each layer, you created something different in yourself. You took a wound and dressed it in light. You created an iridescent balm that kept you safe. You polished and nurtured it until it transformed completely. And one day soon, you’ll realise that you are the one in charge now, that this grit is now something precious, that you have turned your broken heart into art. One day when you’re ready, with such ease, you’ll share your pearl with those who understand what it took to create it and carry it. Your wild and silky interior self will still be intact and you’ll know that, should any other danger come your way, you are indeed a pearl maker and you are in the business of turning unwanted things into beauty.

______________________________________

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