When the Future is Unclear
Setting goals when nothing makes any sense
If you have been on the earth for any length of time, you’ll have noticed things don’t always go to plan.
A few years ago, most key things in my life plan fell apart, perfectly coinciding with a global pandemic. My default reaction was to exert myself, to work extremely hard and to try to solve it all through plan-making. This is effective to some extent, but I’ve felt in my literal bones how unsustainable it is and, when held against the backdrop of our hurting world these days, the light shines fully through the holes in my oh-so-clever plan, hence why all my recent posts have been about letting go and surrender. I must finally say quietly to myself in the gentle darkness ‘I’m not totally sure what I’m trying to do here’. Have you had that experience?
During this season of life and creative development, I am asking myself how to better embrace the dance that is uncertainty, how to challenge my assumptions and ideas, how to look behind some of my previous ‘goals’ and ask what is really behind them in terms of values or even unmet needs.
It doesn’t feel wise to be too rigid in my grand plans over the next life season, but I’ve also tried to find a way to honour that I’m a person who is spurred on by adventures, growing, community and creating good things.
In this context, I wrote this different list of ‘goals’, which I can just hold in my heart one day at a time, while making a few necessary gentle amends to my physical self. I hope these will focus my mind on what feels important, and wash away anything that is not. I hope that it will allow me to arise each day in this world that is in so much pain and be of service somehow, because I believe creative people everywhere can work together to help us all really imagine a better world in our mind’s eye.
Who knows, but it was nice at least to meditate on these ideas today.
What would be on your list? Maybe we can encourage one another to seek the light. I genuinely want to know.
I had always assumed that
an unravelling
would be a bad thing.
I feared
limbs coming loose
from their sockets
delicate folds of mind matter
spilling out into
an irreversible chaos.
I could not have known then,
that some average
and blessed Thursday,
it would be more like
tight bandages being
finally loosened
stitches being cast off
and beloved friends
pouring oil
on your new skin.
Such a beautiful post. Thank you. I too have been scared to unravel that Ive wound myself even tighter *sigh and life has become very restrictive in many ways. Your post has reminded me to exhale and to know that many of us are walking similar paths. Thank you for sharing the beautiful artwork too 💜
This post really touched my heart. ‘I’m not totally sure what I’m trying to do here’ seems to be my motto. I cannot plan anything right now due to family matters (I'm a carer). My first goal at the moment is to look after myself, because I cannot look after anyone else if I am not fit myself. I tend to forget this one a lot. My second is to hold my family close and do the best I can for them. The rest can fit around these two things. The one thing I know is that we will get through it.